I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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