I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
