I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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