Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
