tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
