Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
