My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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