fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
