that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
