Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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