I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
