Duck Duck Cougar?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
