yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
