Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
