We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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