Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
