I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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