love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
