someone threw a dead crab at me
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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