Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
