just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
my poor anus
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
