look no pants
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
