Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
