I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
