i don't plan on having that self control this summer
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
