If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Enjoy the penises
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
