But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
