More tranny stories later!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
