dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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