he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
