Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
my liver is dry heaving
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
