His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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