Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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