2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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