Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
