Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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