so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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