Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
