I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
