Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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