It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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