absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
