between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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