how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
