omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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