Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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