this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
