Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
