don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
