So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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