Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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