What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
