Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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